Looking back, and forward

Back

This past year has been eventful. I’ve laid some demons to rest and forgiven myself for things that I’ve done, as well as forgiven people who have contributed to my demons that I had in the first place. 

I have shot thousands and thousands of photographs and hundreds of people. Every single shoot, I learn something new and improve on something else. This is not an overnight process. I’m still no where close to being what I want to be and having my pictures look exactly like I want, but I’m so much further than I was. 

I have had growth, in more ways than one lol, but we will talk about that in a minute. I quit going to my counselor in October, I lost insurance when I switched jobs, but have remained in a good place. She gave me lots of good tools to help me if I start “sinking” again and I have learned signs to look for in myself. 

Depression, self sabotage, and addictions are no joke and they usually can all be pointed back to something from childhood. Going through things I have this past year or so, have made me more empathetic to people who others tend to bash…no one has the ambition to become something bad, there are reasons (not excuses) for everything. For that, I am one of the least judgmental people ever. 

I got to be a part of six weddings this year and I’m very thankful to have had that opportunity. Weddings are tough, and most people don’t realize what all goes into shooting one. It’s a combination of wedding planner, wedding director, errand runner, and photographer all in one. They can be chaos lol. 

The studio is mostly self sufficient and I haven’t had to take money from “our” money, much. There is a lot of overhead associated with the studio and I have never gotten to write myself a check…I’d do it for free if I could, and I kinda already do, but it’s my passion and I’m thankful to be able to do it and have such a gorgeous place to do it at. 

Forward

Back to my growth, I have put on weight…about 50 pounds of the 60 I had lost when Robert and I got together 6.5 years ago. I don’t feel well. I am going to change that. I tend to eat my emotions, and when I’m bored, upset, happy, tired, lonely, angry, sleepy, etc…, or just because I love food. 

For my business, there are changes coming and I’m excited….more to come on those later. 

Things that have recently transpired have made me want to dig at this harder. I have been knocked down and it makes me want to dust myself off and come out swinging, so that’s what my 2017 is going to be. I have a goal to be doing photography full time by June 2018 and nursing part time. 

I will not be shooting anything but women’s portraiture (we still offer tween/teen girl shoots because they need a confidence boost too) and weddings from here on out. I know a few amazing local photographers who rock at kids and families and I’d be more than happy to share their name with you if you need to find one. 

I just want to thank you all who read my drivel, I appreciate all of my clients, my team, and my new found friends that I have met so far on this adventure. You all touch my life and fill my needs and I love you for that! I hope you all have the best Christmas ever and I’ll see you next year!!! 

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